Over the last month my heart has been desperately yearning for a renewed closeness with my Savior. We all have this amazing God that wants to know us, wants to have a personal relationship with us, wants to hear our voices calling out to him. He wants us to run to him. This is where I have failed in my walk with him. For some reason, to me, prayer has always seemed like it has to be this sit down and spend 5, 10, 15 minutes praying... That is not at all what God asks of us. He wants us to be in constant communion, constant conversation with him. Something that I am working on right now is saying little prayers, while I fold laundry, while I do dishes, while I iron laundry, while I clean up toys, while I change diapers, etc. What do I mean by a little prayer? Just letting God know that I acknowledge his power in my life. While I am picking up Donny's socks from the living room floor every morning and walking them back to the laundry shoot, "God, I just thank you for these dirty socks. I know that I would miss them if they ever weren't there. I thank you for an awesome husband. He is such a great provider for our family." That's it!! I am just trying to constantly converse with the one who knows me best, Christ my Savior.
So as I began realizing my shortcomings in this area and working on my closeness I realized how big of a distraction Facebook was for me throughout the day. It is just so easy to log in real quick. There is an app on my phone. I just click on it, and there it is...status updates, pictures, events, etc. The problem is not Facebook itself just the time it took away from my Lord and my family. Any little moment of downtime I had I figured, "Might as well check FB real quick." Well, that real quick didn't always turn out to be real quick, "Oh, Jane posted pictures! Wow, what was Jon thinking? Judy is in a relationship? With who? Hmm...can I view his profile?" You guys know what I mean! It is so easy to get side tracked. And while I am Facebooking away on my phone I have a little two year old asking Mommy to play, a baby boy in my arms gazing up at Mommy, and a husband sitting next to me. That little two year old won't be two for long, that baby boy is going to grow up faster than I realize, and quality time with my husband is indispensable. So I realized, if I spent all of those "quick" moments I had saying a quick prayer, reading a little in my Bible, or communicating with my family my relationship with those people could only improve and our closeness with Christ as a family could only improve. My love for God could only grow deeper. And my free time would be so much more enjoyed and cherished. :)
And here is the funny part (could also be considered divine intervention)... Earlier this month when I was feeling kind like I wanted to deactivate my account I just kept putting off. I always could justify to myself why not to delete it. Then an acquaintance from college blogged this: http://kklovely.blogspot.com/2011/03/permissible-or-beneficial.html I knew what the Lord was leading me to do. So, that night I talked to Donny briefly about how I feeling. Although he knew what I meant he had the same justifications for me as to why I should keep my account. My mind was changed again. The next day, I went to the Facebook app on my phone just to have it sit and load and load and load just to shut down. It hasn't worked ever since. I have done updates and restarts and nothing seems to fix the issue. So, yesterday was it. Donny and I talked again and I said my goodbyes to Facebook. :)
I'm praying that God will take my free time and grow me spiritually. That I will be able to mature in my relationship with him, with my immediate family, extended family, and friends. I pray that I will have enough self-discipline to take the time I was wasting on Facebook and utilize it to grow in the ways that Christ is longing for me to grow in. I pray for a renewed closeness with a God that longs for a personal relationship with me.
Growing in Christ!
Sierra
